BRAIN DUMP AT 3 AM

There are some things I genuinely did not expect I’d be doing in life, like running across an airport with my handbag slipping off my shoulder, my hair all over my face and my boarding pass in my hand, trying to find Gate 21 like my life depended on it because someone (Fav airline, haha) decided to change my gate to the other end of the terminal. In Yash Raj movies, the hero usually runs across an airport because the love of his life is leaving the country. In my case though, there was no background music, no aesthetic looking airport crowd, no handsome man waiting for me at the other end. Just me fully outta breath, trynna act all normal!

Somehow, that pretty much sums up the general atmosphere in my life lately. Things keep happening, and I keep going along with them, usually while carrying wayy too many things. I came home for my birthday, turned 21 while sitting at the airport waiting for my check in luggage, and somehow that felt much more special than any grand plan could have. There is something very nice about getting on a flight in one city and getting off in another where your mom has already asked what you want to eat when you get home.

Home also means my friends suddenly reappear in my real life instead of existing inside my phone. School friends from Hyderabad, people I haven't seen in ages but can still sit with  and pick up exactly where we left off. There are sleepovers that involve absolutely no sleeping, putting on a movie that nobody actually watches, and our conversations will literally go from work and actual adult stuff to some random school gossip from 8th grade in like five minutes. Two grown ass adults with actual jobs, sitting there discussing who broke up with whom in high school and analysing drama that happened a whole decade ago.

I also have that one friend who is so naturally funny that she can make an entire room laugh without even trying, My mother has, of course, decided that this person is wonderful and would probably adopt her if given the paperwork. Every time she comes home, she and my mom immediately start chatting like they have their own lil friendship going on. Five minutes later, I’m just sitting there listening to them talk, wondering when exactly these two became besties. Not complaining though. My mom has real good taste.

Coming to something I did over the long weekend, SHOPPING!

It was basically 4 hours of walking around stores, picking up something, putting it back, picking it up again, Half the time, I’d be looking at the most ridiculous T-shirts thinking, “Wait, this is actually funny,” while knowing I’d put it on and look twelve, and my mom would take one look at it, do that classic Indian mom stare, and go, “Isko pocha bana du kya?” So after a lot of consideration, I finally bought normal clothes. And after all that, I still came home, opened my cupboard and stared into it like I had absolutely nothing to wear. Four hours. Gone.

Which is funny because most times I’m perfectly happy wearing the same old comfort T-shirts while dancing around my room like I’m shooting a Bollywood song sequence in a very small hostel room. Give me a Bollywood song with a good beat and I’m suddenly doing full choreography. I’ll be fully in character, and then remember that if anyone ever walked in and actually saw me like that, I would have to move countries. Not because I was doing anything wrong, but because there is simply no way I could look that person in the eye ever again after they’ve seen me like that.

As for goals for the year, I really want to travel a lot more now. Not in the very organised way.  I want to go somewhere, walk around for no particular reason, eat something I have never tried, take approximately a thousand  pictures of random buildings, people, food then come home and realise I desperately need a camera because my phone storage has been fighting for its life.

I’m a conversationalist by nature. I love getting into the kind of conversations where you lose track of time without realising it, where one random thought turns into another and suddenly you’re talking about childhood, people, love, movies, life, and all the things you normally don’t say out loud. I can analyse a conversation for hours and genuinely enjoy figuring out why people think the way they do. But when it comes to the whole GenZ texting side of life, all of that logic suddenly disappears. My friends are so, so done with me because apparently, I’m supposed to just text someone I like randomly and casually start a conversation? WDYM I HAVE TO TEXT THEM? ABOUT WHAT? And then I’m expected to understand why “heyyy” is different from “hey” and why “okayyy” apparently has a backstory. I’m sorry, but if I need a translator, three friends, and a magnifying glass to understand a single text, I’m going to bed. After dancing to Bollywood songs, obviously. Priorities!