The Emoji Crime Scene!
I genuinely thought I'd be cooler by now. Not Zendaya kinda cool. But at least the kind of cool where you don't spend twenty minutes analyzing a text message that ends with a thumbs up. A normal person sees a thumbs up and thinks, "Okay." I see a thumbs up and suddenly I'm conducting a criminal investigation. Is it a friendly thumbs up? A passive-aggressive thumbs up? A "got it" thumbs up? A "please never contact me again" thumbs up? This is especially concerning because I am twenty years old. TWENTY. At twenty, my mother was probably making serious life decisions. At around twenty, Raj Malhotra from Ddlj was juggling a cross-continental love story, manipulating a traditional Indian household, and trying to win over Amrish Puri without getting his bones broken!! I once reopened a chat six times because I couldn't decide whether adding an extra emoji would make me seem friendly or weird. The most interesting thing is that I can hand...