Tug of war within: Internal conflicts of the mind

 What is it?

Internal conflict of the mind is the internal tug of war that people go through. People face it when they have opposing desires and opinions.  They are the silent battles we fight within ourselves. These battles are heart wrenching sad moments when our minds become a battleground and we are stuck in the battlefield(I just rewatched world war 2 movies). These are the moments when our hearts and minds don’t agree leaving us confused. In simple words, It’s the struggle between what we want and what we think we should do, between our desires and our fears.

Why do they occur?

Conflicting beliefs: Sometimes as humans we are torn between two beliefs. This tension arises when your values clash, causing a struggle to make a decision. This indecisiveness often comes across as irresponsible behaviour when in reality its just a person who is torn between desires and values

Mixed Emotions: There are times when humans have contradicting emotions such as excitement and anxiety. This often leads to internal turmoil. These conflicting emotions make it difficult to know how to act or what to think.

Moral dilemmas: Life often forces us to make tough choices. Deciding between standing up for what you believe in and keeping peace with others often gets too much to handle this could create internal thoughts which are conflicting. It is indeed a struggle where every choice seems to come with a price to pay

External Pressures: Societal, cultural expectations often get in the way of decision making. Feeling trapped between following or carving your own path and meeting other’s expectations can create a rather difficult sense of conflict.

Triggers: Significant life experiences like bullying can resurface as triggers sparking internal conflicts. Memories of the past make you ruin your present by creating emotional flashbacks and reigniting those old battles in your head. Understanding such triggers can help you navigate the turmoil they bring.

Anatomy of such conflicts:

The human mind is a complex battlefield where opposing forces often wage wars. Imagine one side you have desires, dreams and goals and on the other side you have responsibilities, values and practical realistic concerns. This is called the “duality of the mind.”

When faced with an important decision your mind might cause a storm within. As a literature nerd, I had to mention a metaphor! But this storm isn’t just a metaphor it reflects the genuine struggle the person is going through. For example, you might feel the need to shift careers but you also experience a sense of responsibility and fear about the risks involved and it starts to feel like you are paralyzed and are caught in a cycle of indecision and self-doubt

This shows us that our minds are a collection of competing thoughts and desires. One is put in a difficult spot and needs to prioritize what’s best for them

Effects of Internal Conflicts on relationships

·       Communication Issues: Internal conflicts create a communication gap between the parties involved. This can lead to misunderstandings, withdrawals and frustrations in any relationship, whether with a friend, partner or family members

·       Increased Tension: When individuals struggle with emotional internal conflicts they might project their turmoil and frustration onto others by being overly sensitive, fighting over petty issues and by not responding properly

·       Reduced Patience: People grappling with internal conflicts often have less patience leading to irritability and decreased tolerance

·       Impact on Trust: Some having internal conflicts and struggling with emotional turmoil can not trust a person easily as they have a series of thoughts in their head and they get lost within those possibilities and can’t believe that the other person is trying to help them out  

        A coin has two sides. Similarly, everything has a positive side to it, contradicting emotions or thoughts in relationships of any sort can deepen understanding and empathy. It could lead to open conversation, solutions and strengthens bonds when approached properly.

What to do when someone around you is facing such conflict:

·       Listen: Hear them out, offer a non -judgmental ear to them. Listen to their thoughts and their feelings without interrupting them

·       Validate: Do not guilt trip them for being indecisive. Validate their thoughts. Acknowledge what they are going through and help them feel understood and supported

·       Be patient: Try not to give up on them. Understand where they are coming from and support them. Be patient with them and help them out

·       Provide Reassurance: Remind them that internal struggles are a common part of life and that you will always be there by them through all their phases of internal conflict.

Since, I am a movie lover! We will also discuss a few movies and literary works which showed us about the internal conflicts of the mind(This section has international and Indian movies as well)

 Jersey( 2019, directed by Gowtam Tinnanuri)

This movie follows a former cricketer Arjun who is torn between playing on the field at 36 and balancing his responsibilities as a lower middleclass father and a husband. He struggles to pursue his passion of  restarting his cricket career and societal expectations. He finally wins the support of his partner after initial denial. He then goes on to play the Ranjhi trophy and flourishes there!

Gully Boy(2019, directed by Zoya Akhtar):

Gully boy’s main character Murad an aspiring rapper from the slums of Mumbai goes through the internal conflict between his dreams and his reality. He faces societal and familial pressures dealing with poverty and having an abusive overbearing father. The film explores the struggle of Murad as an artist and how he goes beyond his internal conflict to become what he wants to be!

Dear  Zindagi ! : (2016, directed by Gauri Shinde):

Dear Zindagi follows Kaira, a young woman struggling with emotional issues and past traumas that often impact her romantic relationships. Her internal conflict revolves around accepting her past, and finding happiness in the present.

Lala Land(2016, directed by Damien Chazelle):

The film explores the internal struggles of Mia and Sebastian as they try to balance their deep romantic relationship and their individual career aspirations leading to conflicts between love and ambition

 Pride and Prejudice(Literary work by Jane Austen):

The story captures Elizabeth Bennet’s internal conflict as she catches feelings for Mr. Darcy amidst societal expectations and her own personal prejudice.

      Internal conflicts are a common part of life. Be it grappling with emotional conflicts or between aspirations and societal expectations everybody goes through such conflicts. It is important for us to understand that such conflicts are to be dealt with slowly and in the right manner. One should aim at understanding what is causing such a conflict and should work at it’s root cause. Such internal conflicts could lead to personal growth and evolution as a person. Hence, recognizing such conflicts helps in the process of self discovery as well.